You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
