I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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