my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
love makes seman taste better
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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