Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize