the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
