i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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