I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
