kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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