so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
