the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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