And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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