I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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