Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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