maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
