I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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