they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
