The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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