you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
