You work out of a Hotel?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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