I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
