I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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