great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
