Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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