How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
