Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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