so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
