Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
