It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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