she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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