My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
