it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize