woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm passing your future prison.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize