i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
