You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I wear drunk well.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
