New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
