I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
