oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
