high people should be assigned attendants
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
