Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
