their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
