I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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