dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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