is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
