North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize