I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
