I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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