i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
