I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
