1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
