It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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