It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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