so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's blow job season.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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