bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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