she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
