It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize