I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
