we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
