): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We have started to decorate penises.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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