So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Randomize
