I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
