Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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